Wintersong
by Ponytail Goddess
Summary: A/U Oneshot. Lily finds herself regretting that she didn't forgive Severus for calling her a mudblood and seeks him out to try and make things right on Christmas.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter books and I make no money off of my writings, which I do strictly for fun. Also, I do not own Sarah McLachlan's CD _Wintersong_, whose title song's lyrics are featured in this songfic.

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**Wintersong**

_By Ponytail Goddess_

OOOOOOO

_The lake is frozen over,_

_The trees are white with snow,_

_And all around,_

_Reminders of you,_

_Are everywhere I go._

OOOOOOO

_"Come on Sev, please?" an 11 year-old Lily whined, tugging on her companion's baggy coat as they walked through the woods to their special spot._

_"Lily, that's girl stuff!" Severus complained, his usual scowl fixed on his face, "Why don't you do it by yourself?"_

_"It isn't very fun to do it by yourself! Please Sev, I helped you make that fort out by the swings..."_

_Severus didn't reply to this and kept walking in silence. He stopped as they reached their special spot, but didn't say anything. _

_Turning around to face her friend, she gave Severus her most winning smile and said, "Please, just this once…it is Christmas, after all. No one will see you do it out here anyway, Sev…"_

_He sighed and she knew he had consigned to do it. "It'll be perfect right here at our spot Sev! Here, take my hand and we'll fall on the count of three."_

_Hesitantly, she felt his hand touch hers and she grabbed it and held it tightly. "One, two, three!" She counted and they both fell backwards into the snow._

_Lily smiled as she felt the cold snow encompass her legs, arms, torso, and head. She swished her arms happily as she laid in the snow. Every once in a while, her hand would bump Severus' as they created winged bodies._

_Eventually, she sat up and looked at Severus, who was lying next to her in the snow. He had soft flecks of white decorating his hair and his pants appeared to be quite wet from the snow. He stared back at her with a reflective air as he laid quietly in the snow with his arms still out._

_He didn't look angry, Lily noted as she carefully stood up, doing her best not to disrupt the snow angel she had just created. Once again on her feet, she held a freezing hand out to Severus, who gingerly took it and was pulled up out of his own slightly taller angel. _

_After attempting to brush the snow off Severus, Lily found herself staring at the angels in the snow with a smile on her face. "Look Sev, our angels are friends." she said with a smile._

_Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Severus turn to look at them too. They were silent for a while, marveling at the two angels who appeared to be holding hands. _

_"Indeed," Severus finally replied, turning to look at her with a soft flush on his cheeks, "Best friends."_

_"See, that's why I couldn't make one alone," Lily said softly, "I didn't want my angel to be lonely."_

_Severus suddenly looked very sad at that proclamation. "Lily, sometimes angels have no choice but to be lonely." _

_He looked like he understood that all too well._

_"No they don't," she said strongly, looking Severus straight in the eye, "Sev, I won't let your angel be lonely; my angel will always be by its side."_

_"Really? No matter what?" Severus questioned softly, needing the reassurance only she could provide him with._

_"No matter what." Lily said, giving his hand a quick squeeze. Immediately, she let it go, not wanting to embarrass him. "Come on, let's go to my house! Mom will make some hot cocoa with marshmallows if we ask really nicely! Race you!"_

_Then, not giving him any chance to reply, Lily ran off giggling with an equally grinning boy trailing at her heels._

OOOOOOO

_It's late and morning's in no hurry,_

_But sleep won't set me free,_

_I lie awake and try to recall,_

_How your body felt beside me,_

_When silence gets too hard to handle,_

_And the night too long._

OOOOOOO

"I promised!" Lily gasped, sitting up in bed as she suddenly woke up from her dream. It hadn't just been a dream though—it had been a real memory.

Suddenly, Lily knew what she had to do.

Lily rolled out of bed with a small crash, then quickly untangled herself from her covers and yanked off her nightgown, not even bothering to turn the lights on. Quickly, Lily put on the first clothes she saw and ran a quick comb through her long red locks before donning her coat, scarf, hat, and mittens. With one thing on her mind, Lily ran down the stairs and started to pull on her boots.

A light flickered on. "Lily, what is the meaning of this?" her father said, looking rather stern in the bright light of the entryway.

"I'm sorry dad," she said, pulling on her other boot as quickly as possible, "There's something I have to do right now; something that can't wait another minute."

"Lily, it's four a.m., what could you possibly—Lily!" he shouted. However, Lily was already out the door and had no intention on turning back.

Through the lamp-lit park she ran, tripping occasionally in areas of deeper snow. Somehow, she made it through the icy area and shot quickly down the snowy pavement of Spinner's End.

As she stood in front of his rickety old house catching her breath, her conscious decided to try and get the better of her.

_"He's a dark wizard…"_

No, he wasn't. Maybe if she spent more time with him, he'd break away from his horrible friends and be okay.

_"He called you a mudblood…"_

But afterwards, he had tried to apologize. It had been a sincere apology too and she had been stupid enough to hurt him by not accepting it. Lily's lips drooped as she thought about how much he had begged her to take him back as a friend—she had been very insensitive to his pleading. After all, everyone made mistakes…

"I just want my friend back," Lily whispered to herself, "Please be home Sev."

In reality, her dad had been right—it was a stupid idea to come here in the middle of the night. Lily wasn't even sure if Severus had come to his parent's house for the holidays. Usually, he rode home with Lily and her parents and she had a sneaking suspicion that he only came home so that he could hang around her during their time off of school.

What if he was still at school?

Lily fretted for a moment, but then decided she had come to far to give up now. Slowly, she walked to the side of the house where she knew Severus' room was located.

She looked at his dark window and hoped with all of her heart that he was in there and asleep; she also hoped that his father was too drunk to wake up because she didn't want him to come out and chase her away as he had once when she was 13.

Bending over, Lily made a small snowball and tossed it as hard as she could at Severus' second floor window. Her well-practiced arm easily made the snow connect with his window, resulting in a satisfying splat that was luckily not loud enough to cause a neighborhood disturbance.

After repeating the motion three more times, Lily started to despair. She had hoped he would be here so they could both stop suffering over their lost friendship. She was just about to turn away when she saw a dazed boy cautiously approaching the window.

Severus!

He was here!

The poor teen looked rather tired and confused as he stared at her out his frosty window. Lily watched as he tried to open his window, but the window wouldn't budge, glued down tightly from last week's ice storm.

Looking slightly panicked, Severus put both of his hands up, motioning her to stay as if his life depended upon it. Then, he disappeared from her view. As she waited, Lily imagined him going through the same rushed routine she had about 30 minutes ago.

Indeed, after a mere couple of minutes had passed, she heard the front door of his house being eased open, then closed again, as if Severus was trying to be as sneaky as possible. Lily jogged around to meet him and they both froze for a second as their eyes met for the second time that night.

"Lily," he gasped as he took in his first breath of freezing cold air, "What happened? Are you alright?"

Quickly, he came over to her, pulling on a pair of his father's work boots while he hopped down the stairs that led to his house. His eyes looked her over critically, as if he was a healer trying to diagnose a problem.

"Sev, I'm fine; why do you think something's wrong?" Lily asked, slightly confused about why he was so concerned.

"You're not hurt? It's the middle of the night and you're here Lily—how could I not assume the worst?" He asked, his familiar scowl now gracing his face. "Well, why are you here then? I thought you didn't want to see me again."

His face and vocal tone were both angry. Lily felt her Gryffindor courage starting to fail her as she had not expected this reaction from him. She had thought he would be relieved to see her.

Maybe it was too late…

Flushed with embarrassment, Lily looked down at her feet and whispered, "I came to apologize, Sev."

A few seconds went by in silence before Lily heard him take a few steps closer; she could see his feet in front of hers. "Apologize for what Lily?" he asked softly, the anger in his voice suddenly gone and replaced with the uncertainty that Lily was used to hearing from him.

"Oh Sev, I'm so ashamed…" she murmured, not looking up from her feet, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I didn't accept your apology back in October. You were so sincere, but I thought I'd be better off without you, so I sent you away…"

Lily paused and bit her lip. "I was wrong Sev. I've missed you terribly during the last two months. I've missed my friend. I want to start talking again…but…I understand if you don't." she said softly, fearing the look on his face. Silently, she continued to look at the messy snow beneath their feet, expecting the worst.

What she didn't expect was his knobby fingers wrapping themselves around her purple, mitten-covered hand. "I missed you too." he whispered, giving her hand a little squeeze.

Immediately, Lily's head shot up to look at Severus and he instantly looked away, obviously embarrassed from admitting something so personal. Severus was usually very closed-off emotionally, which made his admittance quite shocking.

"You shouldn't be apologizing," he continued softly, still looking off to the left and incredibly uncomfortable. "I'm the one who called you a…who said that dirty word. I didn't mean it though. I promise I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't Sev. It's okay—I forgive you." Lily said, squeezing his hand much tighter than he had squeezed hers.

They stood there in silence for a little longer, Lily still holding his hand in hers as he finally met her eyes again, albeit shyly.

"Are we friends again Sev?" she asked cautiously.

A small smile appeared on his dismal face. Not waiting for an answer, Lily embraced him tightly and smiled as she felt his arms wrap around her, returning the hug.

"Not just friends Lily, best friends." he whispered in her ear as they held each other securely.

"Yes, best friends," she whispered back, then found herself thinking _"And maybe something more…"_

OOOOOOO

_And this is how I see you,_

_In the snow on Christmas morning,_

_Love and happiness surround you,_

_As you throw your arms up to the sky,_

_I keep this moment by and by._

OOOOOOO

Suddenly excited, Lily pulled away from Severus, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the pavement. "Come on Sev! Follow me!" she said, smiling mischievously at the bewildered teen behind her.

"Lily, where are we going?" he sputtered, sounding uncertain of her intentions, despite the fact that his legs were following her of their own volition.

Lily stopped, turned around, and then asked in a disbelieving voice, "Sev, have you really forgotten what we do every Christmas?"

With clearly exaggerated disapproval, Severus rolled his eyes and replied, "Very well, lead on."

Smiling, Lily did just that as she realized Severus was just as relieved as she was that they had finally made up; usually, he complained and argued quite a lot before giving into Lily's holiday wishes. She knew that he must be in really good spirits since he was not objecting.

Not that she'd mention that to him, of course.

Thus it came to pass that Severus and Lily, at the ripe age of 15, went back to the park where they had spent their childhoods and made snow angels together. They didn't simply make two this time around either; instead, they made set after set until they were breathing heavily with exertion and could no longer force themselves to stand up and find another spot to make more.

With frizzy wet hair and a sweaty flushed face, Lily laid in her latest angel with a smile on her face. Taking off her mitten, Lily reached her hand back out and took Severus' cold one in her own.

"Our angels are friends Sev." Lily said quietly.

"Most definitely," came his equally soft reply.

"They'll never be alone," she whispered, grasping his hand a bit tighter than before.

"Never?" he questioned.

"Never," she replied.

And as the first rays of the sun started to shine over the big hill in the park, Lily thought that perhaps, for the first time, he believed her.

OOOOOOO

_Merry Christmas, _

_Merry Christmas,_

_Merry Christmas…my love._

OOOOOOO

The End.

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Thanks for reading my lovely bit of Christmas fluff! If you enjoyed this Christmas songfic, you might enjoy the one I wrote last year called A Winter's Night, also featuring Severus and Lily. Have a happy and safe Christmas!

-P.G.


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